Traditional Weddings & Cultural Marriages in Antalya Turkey
Don't let cultural differences shake your marriage
It would seem so simple, but each family has its own differences starting with clothes and finishing with meal culture. So, how to avoid them? Love cannot solve everything. As soon as you have decided to get married the new joint period is started - matchmaking, engagement, marriage and wedding.
The fact that now you need to share your home with another person, be responsible for the life, get used to each other's habits and create the trusting relationship can be caused the tense atmosphere in the joint life.
The problem of different cultures integration starts from the usual shopping for a home and continues after the marriage, and sometimes turning marriage into a dungeon. Especially the difference in a culture strongly felt if the newlyweds come from completely different regions.
The given situation can affect the culture of clothes and meal, distribution of household chores and how you solve the family problems. At the beginning of joint life you are very excited and do not pay attention to many things. But after the first months, the first signs of difference in meal culture and table setting, in feelings and relations start to appear. Mother in law waiting from the daughter in law to be adapted immediately to culture and relations of a new family. The same quick adaption fathers in law waiting from the sons in law. Sometimes, the habits that one of the spouses cannot give up arise the straining between husband and wife, and afterwards the many problems which develop into the serious antipathy. However, it is impossible to immediately change both preferences and habits, and save them. This problem can be solved by spouses that found the middle ground in their relations.
How to solve the conflict of traditions and culture in the family relationship.
One of the main items when choosing of a spouse is a cultural similarity. If the partners are similar in everything but their culture is different it will influence their joint life for sure. Such factors like environment where spouses have been grown, be it the farmer’s family or artisan family, family of civil servant or academician or other, social–economical condition of the family, family residence, geographical features of the place of residence, historical features, family worldview and relation to the live play the important role in creation of a new family. Why these factors are important?Marriage is a joint multifaceted life. Sensuality, sexuality, economic separation, separation of household responsibilities, common thinking and raising children in marriage require different points of view. The culture where spouses lived very affects both spouses’ worldwide. The cultural difference appears in the family where spouses studied and lived separately from their families or who just started their labor activity. People living close to each other get married consciously knowing the cultural difference between their families. But if families don’t know each other some difficulties will come.
Trifles can cause major quarrel in the family
Quarrels in the family arise because of trifles to which spouses attach great importance, and thus a major quarrel arises.
Ceremonies
If there is cultural difference between future spouses and their families the difficulties will arises when organizing ceremonies. Because of the different cultural views, the misunderstanding between families arise when matchmaking and during a discussion of the wedding arrangement details. Because of this misunderstanding strained relationship creates between the families with a different culture which affects the entire subsequent family life of the young spouses.
Table setting and meals
Eating is not only a biological need of a person, but also a social phenomenon. In accordance with the way the family eats, a culture of meals is also formed, which is also influenced by social and economic conditions. Obviously, a girl or a guy from a family with a different culture, who later became a daughter-in-law or groom for these families, will show these differences in culture in the new family, which will cause great difficulties in the future.
Needs
Your needs also depend on your culture. The economical conditions also impact of course. The life style creates an etiquette and culture of family. As a rule, it affects how you create comfort in your home, what household items you get in the house. And if the spouses have different ideas in this matter, the difficulties arise in this family. Something important for one of the spouses can be not important for another one.
Style of clothes
As a style of clothes can create disagreement at the beginning of the family life and in continues of all joint life, the spouses or do not pay attention on the clothes of each other or try to change the style of one of the spouses.
How to share the house duties in the family
The family culture where spouses were grown also affects the differences in this matter. The spouse’s culture of upbringing depends on whether he will help the spouse with household chores and raising children while the spouse is at work or has gone shopping. Thoughts and relationship of spouses in this matter depend on the culture, and if there is a big difference, it will be difficult to find a middle ground for spouses. People can change during communication. But if there is a big difference in the culture, this change will not be enough for the harmony in the relationship.
Love and patience will help to avoid disagreement in culture
If you will take into account the difference in culture when choosing a spouse, it will help to avoid family difficulties in the future. Nevertheless, a certain difference in culture is inevitable. The spouses have to respect opinion differ from each other and be open to change yourself to reach a mutual understanding between themselves even they are from a different culture. For that, you must be sure firstly in your strong love and in sincere respect for each other, in your desire to be married. Because sincerely loving and respecting his half one of the spouses will do everything possible so as not to disappoint and not upset the family of his half. Both spouses don’t want to upset their own families too. Therefore, they show all the sensitivity to not harm the marriage basing on their love.For example, one of the common problems in marriage is a visit to a family of one of the spouses who live in the village during vacation. And if one of the spouses doesn’t like village life, then both spouses will feel uncomfortable during the visit.
However, cultural features are wealth. They help us to see life from a different point of view. The city life is ordered and aesthetical. The village life is perfect with its nature and full of other beauties. Watching people we see haw people with different destinies understand a life and try to cope with certain difficulties in order to overcome them, thereby making their life easier. People who do not compromise with their principles may encounter difficulties. Being more flexible towards the opposite side (empathy) will make your life easier. For example, when a young girl, brought up in rural conditions, comes to a family living in the city and behaves in accordance with their lifestyle, she will have fewer problems with her spouse and his family.
However, a young girl who has grown up in urban conditions and who has fallen into the family of her husband from the village will have to endure certain difficulties in order to adapt and learn how to cook local meals.A spouse who has cultural differences in his home should be ready to share household responsibilities in order to find a middle ground. For example, helping a working spouse at home or taking care of a child, making purchases with his spouse, having lunch together outside the house and other similar varieties will help to avoid the development of problems among spouses and the emergence of a tense situation in the family.
Credit:
Farika Teymur Artyr
