Wedding is one of the Most Important Day in People’s Life
Importance of Marriage
Why people do not give up on marriage even with the risk of divorcement. What is so attractive about marriage?
Let’s start with human beings. All evolution theories show that people should have a close relationship with opposite genders after they complete their puberty. This means humans should experience physical and psychological evolutionary changes during puberty, step into adulthood and be ready to search what they expect from a romantic relationship, from a partner, from loving or being loved.
With the end of puberty, closeness and togetherness start to gain importance and friendship and relationships become an important life period. Common concepts like love, attachment, being together, belonging and sharing becomes the centre of adult people’s life.
These concepts can be differing from culture to culture for sure. However, there is a universal side of each concept. This universal side is life stages and phases that every human being faces. Young adulthood is the phase of love, intimacy and building relationships.
A young adult can experience the concepts which need to be understood with the relationship networks. For example, a young adult tests his relationships with his friends, try to understand who is more valuable and permanent, meet with new people, with the knowledge of being at the beginning of adult life, try to make important decisions which will affect his future. This means the topic is not only a romantic attachment or romantic relationship. a young adult can also gain experience with the relationships which are not romantic.
But of course, there is both love and caring. There are discovering the ability to love, feeling of being loved, attachment, sexuality, communication. This discovery is a need. A psychological and natural need of every young adult. Even if there are lots of ways to satisfy this need, its still a need.
We have understood the personal and psychological reasons for the marriage. What about the social level?
All in all, marriage itself is a social process. It is determined by social and communal norms. It is an institution which includes lots of people, it is legal, announced, celebrated. It is not a personal institution. It is not about privacy between two persons. This is why it is important to look at marriage as a social institution and understand it.
As we mentioned before, besides the developmental perspective, social consensus also sees marriage as a natural part of the process. You should be remembering the Royal British Wedding. It broke records in all the world. Because marriage and royalty are still two most unwavering institutions. In this sense, marriage seems universally recommended, in short, society says ‘get married’.
Marriage is experienced as a natural part of life. It is something everyone will experience one day. This naturalism highlighting becomes too interesting that marriage is seen as a route. Marriage is seen as a method. The best method for having a relationship, a route in life. If someone wants to discover intimacy, if someone wants to experience relationships, one should get married.
Social norms are very net in this respect. Marriage is one of the most important stages to be normal, to be happy, to be an individual, to be healthy. So when you get married, it means you make a big step for being all of this. When we look at all of these, it seems so natural that every year hundreds of thousands of people are getting married.
Lots of people involve marriage in connection with different factors and stories. The things which we mention here is de facto for sure. But when we hear stories directly from people, stories diverse.
The most common description is ‘’our relationship has come to a point’’. As we understand, there is a relationship. There is a relationship in which young adult tries to satisfy his needs. This relationship develops, evolves, passes different stages, satisfies different needs and comes to a phase which is called marriage.
There is also another important question. How do people make their life partner choice, for which reasons do they choose? But when we look at how the process is experienced, maybe we should ask the question from a different perspective. Human beings are not search and find a proper life partner after they decide to get married. Usually, there is a romantic partner and an ongoing relationship. The process is about the phases of the relationship, if this relationship will end up with a marriage and if this person will be the proper life partner.
What do people do in this phase? They examine their relationship. They think about where did they come from and where are they going to, how do they see the future, which needs are satisfied until now. Moreover, people also examine their life partner during this phase. How proper is this person for being my life partner? How much they love their partner and be loved by their partner, their differences and similarities, plusses and minuses are examined.
Sensitive and intricate balances are taking the scene at this point. Life and decisions which are made are mostly never consisting of only these two examinations and their answers.
If you are married, turn your back and look upon your marriage. Let’s make it easier and ask you the question like this: how coherent are you and your partner? Your psychology, your life partner’s psychology and even your children’s psychology depend on your coherence in marriage. Coherent marriage life brings happiness and saturation.
Marriage coherence and marriage saturation are different but similar concepts. These concepts are constantly supporting each other. It means there is coherence where there is saturation and there is saturation where there is coherence.
Coherence in marriage means a healthy marriage. Incoherence marriage, partners share the same ideas in a positive way about family and marriage. Only couples who have good communication can have a successful marriage.
Couples who got married with their own decision have a more coherent relationship. Moreover, long flirting and engagement periods are bringing coherence into married life also. Researches show that the more women’s satisfaction level decrease the longer marriage gets and for men it is vice versa.
Furthermore, work-life can also affect coherence in marriage. Higher the standards get, coherence in marriage increases. Another factor which has affection on coherent marriage is having children. Before having a child, the couple can get help from a therapist. Not only for the child, but also for a couple to have a different perspective on their marriage is vital for a coherent marriage.
