Importance Of Love And Respect In Marriage
Importance of Trust in Marriage
Everyone knows about so-called “cradle engagement.” The decision of the families to marry a boy and a girl in future. Today, although rare, the beginning of those traditions based on fear of parents’ will.
The topic of this article is sense of trust in marriage. You may think “So why it’s about cradle engagement?”.The fact is, however, that the human being will start to roll in the cradle and with whom he will marry. Many theories have been proposed by psychologists regarding the issue,object relations and bonding theories.
According to the bonding theorists, the baby's experiences with the mother from the moment she was born and the ways in which they develop relationships develop the baby's perceptions of “me” and “the other”. While our “ego-self” part perceives how much I am worthy of love, how much I am worth being loved, our “other” part perceives how reliable other people are, how ready they are to offer love and interest. Think of a baby, she cries from hunger, her mother does not come to feed, she cries because she is dirty, her mother then sweeps or sweeps while cleaning, she acts rude. Every time a baby cries, her mother comes and speaks softly with her and meets her needs. Which baby develops positive self and other perception? Me and other’s perceptions are models of close relationships we have established in adult life. If the person's perception of “self and the other” is positive, he / she connects securely and cares for himself / herself and the other person. It can easily initiate close relationships and maintain health.
If the perception of self is negative, the other perception is obsessive. He does not trust to himself but trusts the other person. He does not think that he is worth being appreciated, but the other one is valuable and superior. If both the self and the other perception are negative, they can either be indifferent or they can't be intimidating.
Once we were babies, we didn't have teeth, we swallowed everything that was put in our mouths without chewing, just like we swallowed everything that was told to us. We didn't have any mind filters at the time, we were small, but now we're adults. We have both our mind filters and our teeth. Now we don't have to swallow what we're told directly, we can chew, we spit it like we can, we can throw up if ingested. We can't go back and fix things, but we can repair they nowadays.
Think of marriage as a tripod table. One foot is love, one is respect, the other is trust. Love is about labor, respect and knowledge, trust is about consistency and responsibility. A healthy, satisfying marriage is possible with three legs intact. As long as respect and trust are maintained, it is not easy to establish trust in marriages where love and trust are undermined and the love and trust of couples who have lost their respect is diminished over time. “Trust is for Single Use only.” there is a saying, even though I don't look so hard, I tell you, the trust bears the greatest weight of the table. Even the construction varies from person to person. It takes a long time for someone to trust someone as soon as they meet. I don't know which one is right, but I know it's the most easily damaged leg.
To be safe is the basic need of a human being, everyone wants to trust his wife or husband in any question. Trust, however, is consistent, predictable, is a sense of responsibility that can be formed by mature people. Unpredictable people who do not keep their promises, often change their mind, who are not sure what to do, can not be trusted.
Before marriage, people usually describe themselves as idealized, meaning they want to be themselves. You know, it's not a lie, and if trust is formed, they get married. What about after? She was with us every day when she was engaged, and now she doesn't want to see my family. He used to text every minute before he got married, and now he doesn't even remember when she got home. He'd spend all his free time with me before we got married, if he had any. If I'm upset, the man who comes up and turns his back and snores. You see, it depends on the ability of the parties. However, it is not a statement of behavior. The loss of confidence is inevitable if the behavior does not overlap with the words. Confidence continues only with the determination to maintain positive behaviors and the effort to promote negative attitudes. Because marriage is close; “I'm no longer alone” is solidarity; “I have a wife if I get sick, I have trouble.” Therefore, the behavior of closeness and solidarity must be maintained in a consistent manner.
Promises made before or during the marriage, promises that exceed the length of the loss of trust is not fulfilled. Let's avoid the promises we can't keep, and let's keep the promises given. Although we want to keep them let me explain at length the reason we perform in an appropriate manner. The biggest mistake of married couples is to read minds and wait for their minds to be read. If we are misunderstood while talking, how can we be understood without talking?
A secret you hide from your wife, but share with others outside of your family will eventually be heard by your wife, and a day of lies will come when you consider it trivial. Like this marriage does not work. Being honest, even if it's against you, makes you reliable.
Pre-marital dreams are one of the things that make marriage difficult. The higher expectations of marriage are, the greater the loss of frustration and confidence will be. No one can be happy for 24 hours, but some of them have happily matched marriage in their minds so that if the slightest face of their partner is hung, they begin to question their marriage, or if they think they will live like glue twins, they have serious trust problems when they see that it is impossible.
A rhetoric saying "a woman (man) should be like this" turns into an effort of being the first partner in another's mind, at some point, she does not like me as I am, she wants to change me, she is trying to put me in a mold, she continues to attack with "I think you look like a man (woman)" and she causes loss of respect, love and confidence.
A human being is incapable, incomplete, an error-making creature. Not putting his spouse in the right place in his heart, the infinite trust in him makes the test of relationship. Trust your spouse, but know that you are in a creation that can comply with your soul, and can make mistakes. Infinite trust is only in God and His friends.
Betrayal can destroy the sense of trust that has been created for many years. That is why most marriages end. Sometimes it is impossible to re-establish that trust, and sometimes a marriage is restored with the sincere regret of the mistake of one party and the effort to rebuild the trust of the spouse.
Think of a place where you have your parents, brothers and sisters, your spouse, and all of a sudden you're naked. Who do you hide behind? ……..... Then show your spouse that you care about him/her, look at his/her with smile, say you love him/her, hug him/her, gift little presents, do something he/she loves, avoid the behaviors that you will be uncomfortable with, be honest, dose, take time, hold your promises, explain why you can't keep your words and behaviors consistently, give importance to charity, always trust your moral framework. We hope that your marriage will continue with LOVE, RESPECT and TRUST.
