Consider cultural differences of partners before marriage

Learn how to solve adaptation issues in a family with a partner

ADAPTATION PROBLEMS OF THE MARRIAGE
Problems Before the Marriage

"If I fail ..."
“I'll be disgraced…”
" What if I am not accepted ..."

Many people may have problems communicating with the opposite sex.

There may be several reasons for problems communicating with the opposite sex. These reasons may include intensive social anxiety. The person experiences anxiety due to negative automatic thoughts such as “I will be disgraced, what if I am not accepted” and this anxiety prevents them from acting and getting closer to the opposite sex.
Among the problems before love affair are the woman was not ready to have a relationship, her problems with her previous relationship continued, she has shy personality characteristics, etc. countable. In fact, although she likes men and wants to love affair, she can't act, because of these problems, she can't show that she likes and wishes. Best wedding planner in Turkey

“He never calls me. He is not interested with me. I have no worth for him ”
“I'm always tired of saying where are you, what are you doing. He doesn't really trust me. "

Expectations and desires at the beginning of the relationship differ from person to person. One person enjoys being followed a lot, while another can feel uncomfortable with the constant call of the person they are with. If the person with whom he / she is not at all desire, is not interested, the person can begin to feel worthless and insignificant. The person who is sought for where you are and what you are doing every minute can get bored with this situation. He can get the thought of "she doesn't trust me".

Old Traumatic Experiences

“I do not trust any man”
“I do not believe in any woman”
“This person will leave me too”
“What if he/she breaks up with me”

In traumatic experiences (harassment, problems with the father, physical violence, etc.) in previous relationships, it may cause the person to have problems before love affair. Since the traumatic experiences affect the person's self-confidence in the world, the basic feeling of confidence can be shaken. In relationships, “I do not trust men / women” “I do not trust anyone” “This person will leave me like any other” “What if he/she breaks up with me”, thoughts can be reflected negatively on the beginning of a relationship.

It can also be a conflict if the couples before the draw are not in the same place regarding sexuality. For example, the man's desire to experience sexuality immediately and his emotional and physical pressures can create trauma on the woman.

"You do not understand me…"
"You don't care about my wishes and desires, me ..."
“If you love me, you will marry me”

Failure of couples to meet each other's expectations and to communicate adequately are among the important problems experienced before togetherness. For example; women want to get married, men want sex, etc. The person whose expectations are not met also creates anger.

Adaptation problems of the marriage Best wedding planner in Antalya

“The first evening of my marriage insulted me”
“I try to get used to my house, my wife/husband”
“Some of my wife's/husband's behavior angers me. But I am ignoring for now ”

The first months of marriage are the stage of adaptation and getting used to living together. The behavior of one spouse can create anger and discomfort in the other. In the first months, she/he can ignore these behaviors and throw them in order not to fight. The accumulated emotions can react later with a discussion. Spouses can accumulate the words spoken during the discussion. They can't forget these words for a long time. Spouses know the points that will lacerate each other during the fight. Often they can make discourses about his personality.

“If conflicts, quarrels are increasing, one or both of the spouses can experience depression, anxiety, etc. She /he encounter problems typically. ”

In marriages where conflicts and quarrels are continuous, one or both spouses may also have psychological problems. Depression, anxiety, anger, obsession, sexuality etc. problems are often encountered.

Marriage And Sexuality

There are many marriages that continue without sexuality as women or men hate. In addition, sexuality continues in some marriages. However, the woman does not have sexual desire, sexuality does not make sense to her. Seen sexuality as an obligation to maintain marriage. If sexuality has not been experienced or has been experienced little the beginning of the marriage, one of the spouses can feel its deficiency. The sense of insufficiency can bring spouses to the divorce stage, and seek new lover.

Male can stay away from sexuality in the some partnerships. Among the reasons for men to stay away; upbringing attitudes, being social phobic, introversion etc. When a man has erection, premature ejaculation, the woman may experience reluctance and not reach orgasm. However, vaginismus in women, pain during sexuality, etc. can have problems.

The fact that the couple lives without thinking about the wishes and desires of the couple during sexuality (for example, if the man lives without thinking about the woman, does not think to warn or satisfy the woman) may cause sexual harmony problems to appear.

Marriage and Communication Problems

“You changed a lot after getting married.”
"You don't understand me at all"
"You don't love me anymore"

Some of the married couples don't do the activities they did before and release their life how it goes. Often they think that this is normal, marriage is such a thing. The woman can stop making attempts to energize her marriage, the male can become increasingly insensitive, and can start to ignore her wishes and desires. It seems that there is no problem from the outside in the same house, but people are increasingly moving away from each other. Eye to eye, touches gradually decrease. Sometimes spouses can make any sense in their communication (for example, I am very tired, I will sleep, etc.).

Decreasing shares in marriage, intolerance, overgrowing events and giving extreme reactions signal that there are problems in their marriage. Not satisfying the emotional needs of the woman and not taking care of the woman is to expose the woman to violence. For example; the woman who made a different meal by taking care, not to say "thankful for your exertion" and not noticing, etc. In this case, the ability of the spouses to express their feelings, thoughts and expectations to others, and listening to them will ensure the marriage to be satisfied. Luxury weddings in Antalya

“I prefer to go on the internet rather than talking to my wife”
“I can't speak to him/her”
“I am tired of my wife/husband bringing up a topic to discuss constantly.”
"She is always in the hairdresser"

Harmony in marital life is related to an adequate level of relationships and communication skills. It is important that the spouses show each other the necessary understanding, the couples use the language of "I", listen, and do not use command phrases while expressing their wishes in the communication.

Couples may start to exhibit passive aggressive or aggressive attitudes from time to time. For example; one person speaks a lot in marriage, the other is silent, the woman raises and discusses a topic, the man says it is enough, going to the internet in the women's room, leaving late from work, going to the hairdresser all the time or not leaving the house, etc. The harmony of the spouses and their communication skills are sufficient to ensure that the marriage is healthy.

Reflections of Culture and Other Elements to Marriage

Cultural differences, community value judgments, authoritarian parenting, and child-rearing attitudes will affect communicating with the opposite sex and finding solutions for problems. Communication problems may arise from the lack of experience with the opposite sex or their family experience (parents never speaking). How one's experiences about the effort to communicate with the opposite sex during adolescence, how he coped with problems in the family may affect this process.

Child and Marriage

“After the birth of our child, my wife is not interested in me as before”
“I am having sexual aversion”
“I am a mother now”
“Whether children, it will get better”

The woman can give herself to take care of the child with the birth of the child. In this case, the man can feel thrown into the second plan. During pregnancy, women may have unrealistic thoughts about not experiencing sexuality, and if I experience sexuality, I can harm my child. With the thought of "I am a mother now", she can push her femininity to the background. Since she is a mother, she can experience sexual reluctance. If the child comes to the room, hears, learns, etc. thoughts can cause the woman to withdraw.

When marriage does not go well, one of the spouses or the other people think the child can be a salvation and solution. Seeing the child as a salvation or solution may lead to further growth of the problem in the future.