A Happy Marriage Life
Noteworthy things while choosing partner for a happy marriage
Choosing a partner may be the most important thing in people’s life.
When you make your partner decision, you also decide your lifetime lover, friend, mother and father, your children’s mother or father. It is a very important decision and it should include love in it. In this article we will give you some important information about choosing a partner.
While choosing a partner one should first know him or herself and than act accordingly. People should know what they want and what they do not want from the person they are going to get married. In this way, people can evaluate their partners easier. However sometimes love comes around and knocks the door so bad that people make quick choices about marriage. Actually there are 2 main principles while choosing a partner. These are similarity principle and completion principle. Similarity principle is about attraction of the similar. People can be attracted by people who have the same or similar nationality, age, ethnic condition, social condition, education and personality. Completion principle is about completing each other which means attraction of opposite people. The consensus says that similarity principle is more affective while choosing a life partner.
Similarity principle avoids conflicts about socio-economical condition, class, religion and education. Love is defined as physical attraction and thrill which you feel for someone almost at your ages. However, decisions about marriage shouldn’t be about love. Its foundation is caring. For women and men, partner choosing differs. Women are paying attention to social and economic condition of a men while choosing a life partner and men usually pay attention to physical attraction. Beliefs of people are also very important as beliefs affect emotions, thought and opinions of people directly. Lots of people think that love is enough for choosing a partner. However this is a wrong idea. One can look for this dream love and ignore the people around him or her. These kinds of myths can cause wrong choices about life partner.
Researches on partner choosing can differ according to socio-economical conditions, culture level, relationships before marriage and the surroundings. Researches showed that for men, physical appearance and spiritual value is important in this life and for women it is marriage. To sum up, marriage means building a home, being a friend and responsibilities. This is why meeting and spending time together is so important before marriage and definitely should be done.
Recently unhappiness in marriages can be seen in every corner. Unrealistic expectations and beliefs can lead these problems.
Wrong choices during life partner choosing starts with believing myths. These myths are; there is only one person in the whole world for me, I should find my perfect partner, I should have a perfect relationship, I should try more, love is enough and it should be so easy. Every person should stay away from these kinds of myths and make durable choices.
Relationship harmony, soul harmony, harmony in society, harmony of behaviors, sexual harmony and harmony of completing and concretion are the keys of partner choosing doors.
Be careful about these 7 steps while choosing your partner
- To avoid cultural conflict, if possible you may find someone from your own culture.
- Of course economical condition is important, however it is not a sign that one will be a good partner because his or her economical condition is good. Economical condition should remain in the background while choosing partner.
- For men, beauty and for women, handsomeness, these criterions should remain in the background also because if you choose according to beauty or handsomeness, you make decision for a transient value. Year after year beauty and handsomeness pass away and our values also pass away. This is why we should give value the beauty inside which means loyalty, respect, love and communication.
- One of the most important things while choosing a life partner is family. Family structure is really important because when partners come together families also connect with each other; consequently when there is a problem between families, this problem affects the partners in a negative way.
- Trust is disposable. You should choose a partner whom you can trust. Otherwise you can spend the rest of your life in doubts and even get a divorce.
- An older partner can seem good in the beginning but years later he or she may not keep up with you and this is why you should choose a partner proper to your age.
- While choosing a partner men are saying that she should be beautiful and women are saying that he should be wealthy. For some people wealth is money and fame, for other people wealth means health and communication. People make mistakes about wealth. Wealth is something temporary. Everyone can be wealthy with working hard or has the chance to be at least. However, if you can find a partner with whom you can talk, this is something priceless. This is why you should set wealth a side and find a real partner who cares about you.
We need to be realistic. Of course everyone wants to be wealthy, to have a beautiful and comfortable life however life is so real that these kind of things are really hard to get and even people reach this, we can see that they are unhappy and live without peace.
Women who are searching for a life partner usually wants him to have a car and money. Of course this is only a dream. Lets make a small calculation. A man wants to get married when he becomes 25. However he has no car or no power to buy everything that his partner wants him to buy. Because he is coming from military few years ago, he is trying to find a job, or save money.
To buy a house he needs to pay 300.000TL, for a car he should pay 60.000, to get married he needs 50.000, in total he needs 410.000 TL and this is impossible for a young man who has just started his work life. In this case, woman’s dream can not be real and this is why they choose to get married with an elder man and this leads unhappiness.
Our elders always say things like, less is more, and birds of a feather flock together which are very important if look closer and hear well.
Moreover, we want to end our article with a poem.
Your life is the woman you choose.
Women shows around the men in life
If you run across an amusing woman you will be amused
If you run across a wise woman you will be wise
If you run across a witty woman you will laugh
If you run across a clever woman you will start thinking
Life is in layers as in holy books
It rises like gardens of Babylon
And you are risen by a woman
And the garden you are in, the view you are watching, the life you see is the woman’s garden, view and life
Your life is the woman you choose
Because you are not choosing a woman, you are choosing life..
